You are still in love with your ex-girlfriend and you keep hoping that she will love you once again and come back to you. Although you are feeling tremendous pain and loneliness right now, be comforted in knowing that there are active steps that you can take to help repair your relationship with your lost love.

(1) Spend time apart. Avoid calling her, emailing her and visiting her. Give yourself some need geographical and emotional distance from your ex. Avoid the parks, restaurants, museums, and other places that were your favorites as a couple. Avoid communicating with her family members and friends. Put all of the photos, greeting cards, and gifts from your ex, plus her clothes and personal belongings away in a box.

(2) Find enjoyable and relaxing activities to participate in. You are going through an emotionally draining and lonely time. Invest your energy in hobbies and interests that are good for your physical and mental health. Find several parks and paths to go on hikes and walks. Go bicycling on scenic bike trails. Join a yoga or Pilates class at your local gym. Go camping with some guys from work or college. Brainstorm one or two new pastimes that you can pursue, such as nature photography or playing golf. Your mind will naturally wander back to thoughts about your ex, so try to discipline yourself to focus on your recreational activities.

(3) After a month or two of investing time in taking care of yourself and spending time apart, try to reconnect with your ex by sending her a simple email or voice mail. Just try to get to know her again. Keep things relaxed and unpressured. Share with your ex that she can depend on you to support her emotionally. Communicate that you still care about her and think about her. Show her that you are interested in rebuilding your relationship. Give her time to respond.

(4) Work on reconnecting with your ex as friends. Spend time getting to know one another again as friends. Be a good listener for your ex. Comfort her and encourage her. Take ownership for the mistakes that you made in your relationship. Offer a genuine apology for your actions and words that hurt your ex. Work on improving your communication with your ex-girlfriend. Avoid criticizing her or calling her names. Be kind, respectful and funny. Move slowly to regain her respect and trust. As you build a strong and caring friendship, hopefully your ex will be open to reconciling your romantic relationship.