Archive for March, 2009
If your girlfriend has broken up with you, you are undoubtedly feeling emotionally hurt at the moment. You may feel as though things are hopeless, but they are not. You feel lost and are not sure what to do next. right now, wondering what happened and wondering what to do next. You are also probably wondering how to get your ex girlfriend back. Depending on the specific circumstances of the relationship,, that may or may not be possible. But whether or not a reconcilliation is a possibility, one helpful thing you can do for yourself right now is to reflect on your role in the breakup.
If the relationship was a long-term one in the breakup was a surprise, it's a definite sign of communication problems that had probably been going on for a while. One thing you might try during a 1 week or so “cooling off” period is to ask a mutual friend of you and your girlfriend to get in touch with your ex and try to find out more information as to why she ultimately decided to break up with you. If you know the reasons behind the breakup you have a much better idea of whether a reconciliation is possible.
Constant phone calls and constant text messages to your ex girlfriend are not helpful at this stage, so avoid them. This will just make you look desperate and probably make her angry. And desperation is not attractive trait to most people. What you should be doing in addition to reflecting on the relationship and your part in the breakup, is trying to go about your normal life. Don’t isolate, don’t sit in your home or apartment depressed. Get out of the house or apartment and do the things that you normally do.
If word gets back to your ex girlfriend that you are living a relatively normal life and appear to be moving on, it may get her wondering how you were able to bounce back so quickly and perhaps make her a little jealous and wonder what’s going on in your life. if you can do that the lines of communication might open up a little bit and make a reconciliation possible.
Once you know whether or not a reconciliation is possible you need to develop a step-by-step plan for getting her back in your life. However, you need to also understand up front that this is going to be a relatively slow process. Anytime human emotions are involved, such as in a relationship with another person, things take time. It took a while for the relationship to break up, so it will take a while for it to come back together, if it comes back together at all.
Make a list of the things that were wrong with the relationship from your point of view before you put your step-by-step plan together. Keep in mind that she was the one who broke up with you, so your list should probably be slanted towards things that you may have done and not even realized it that it caused the relationship to end. If your list is filled with all of her faults and how she "did you wrong", chances are you are not on the right track in analyzing the reality of the relationship.
With your list in hand you can then have a better idea of whether there is a possibility of getting your ex girlfriend back. Much of it depends upon what you can find out about her state of mind over the relationship. The fact of the matter is she may very well have already moved on and there is no chance at reconciliation, particularly if she’s already seeing another person. If that is the situation, you also need to move on and learn from the experience so that you don't have to go through this again.
