Archive for October, 2008
Some men go through life feeling that they are alone and unloved. Some are married but feel that they are in a loveless relationship, others have never been in a long term relationship. Both categories, whether you are married or in a relationship but have that feeling of loneliness and those of you who have never been in a long term relationship should search yourselves first before pointing the finger at anyone else.
Are your expectations of yourself and/or your partner unrealistic? Do you think that the love that is portrayed on TV and in the Movies is real? Nothing is ever as easy as you see on TV, you have to work at a relationship to make it work, nothing will ever drop into your lap or fall into place without effort. As the Bible says, “God helps those who help themselves”.
When you meet someone who you find attractive you make an effort, you tidy yourself up and you do things that you think will impress the object of your attentions. You make an effort to please them in order to win their affection. The problem a lot of people have is that once they have won the affection which they were seeking they stop making the effort. That’s when your chosen one starts thinking that you have changed and that you are no longer interested in them.
I have known quite a few men who have walked into a bar in Manila bought one of the bar girls a drink, paid their bar fine and took them back to the hotel for the night and ended up marrying the girl. Of course it wasn’t love at first sight, it was a business deal. Money fo! r sex. But the girl gave the man what he wanted and he gave the girl what she wanted.
I kept asking him, if he wasn’t happy with his first wife, why did all of his others look so much like her. Even his Asian wives and girlfriends had a striking resemblance to his first wife, who was Caucasian.
You have to make allowances, you have to compromise. Compromise is absolutely necessary in everything that you do. From the time that you are in the cradle to the time that you are put under the ground. Like the Rolling Stones sang, “you can’t always get what you want”. Do the best you can with what you are given.
Love is something that comes from within, you have to give it before you get it. Many times I have heard of people go out and looking for the love that they feel is missing from their lives; they never find it. Sometimes you have to stop looking for love and get on with your life, if you are an open and accepting person the love with find you, you don’t have to go out looking for it.
Don’t think of them as prostitutes, think of them as survivors, and lets face it, you are probably in your 40’s or 50’s by the time you get to the stage of your life where you are going to go to Asia to find a wife. At 50, you don’t want a virgin, and even if you do, you aren’! t going to get one. Who cares if the one you love worked in a bar half way across the world.
They say that familiarity breeds contempt, that is true in some cases, but it also is the breeding ground for love. Some people travel the world looking for love and never find it, others find it next door or just around the corner. What differs between the two is that the one who travels the world and never finds love has unreal expectations of what he is looking for, the other is prepared to compromise and be more understanding of the wants and needs of other people.
